I'll drink to that!!!

Drinking.  An American pass time.  A classic activity....kinda like a baseball game.  Could you imagine a baseball game without a COLD BEER and a hot dog?  That's really the ONLY reason that "I" go!  So how did drinking get to be such a big part of our lives?  It's weird...if you go to Europe, people drink, but it's casual...instead of water, it's wine.  It's expected and normal and it's NOT an activity in it's own right.  When you go to Europe, it's really only the visiting AMERICANS that are drunk...not the locals.  Hmmmm....why is that?  I  want to think it's a cultural thing...but honestly it's more of a "being there" thing.  OK, that was weird and confusing.  It can't be a cultural thing, because I am of European descent and my family allowed me to drink at home (on special occasions, as a kid) and alcohol was not a BIG DEAL...yet, I still got my groove on and drank like a fish when I was in college....so it's not cultural, but more environmental.  When I was in college, I started to drink to make up for lost time...I hate to admit it, but I was kind of a "Polly Anna" in High School.  While everyone else was out partying and getting wild.....I think (well I know) "I" was home watching "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island"...they played back to back on Saturday nights.  wow....I was a loser....hmmmm...it really is true when you see it in writing....OH well, at the time, I didn't know and I LIKED IT!!!  It was kind of the high point of my week...well that and Friday Night Videos on MTV.  ANYWAY, you can tell I was sheltered and drinking was not the BIG item on the agenda.  So, when I got to college, I decided to find out what I was missing out on.  Started day one.  I get to the dorm, my Mom and best friend/sister Tina (then a Bogordos, now a Molhoek....yes, she married a white boy) drove up, helped me unload everything, set up my room...and they left.  Oh, before they did, Tina said, "Don't let on that you have no clue what's going on...just act like you know it all."  Hmmmmmmmmm....well that's ONE thing I was good at!  So I'm sitting in my room...alone (roommate didn't show up for a week...wish he never had...dick head) and I decide to go out and meet other people on my floor.  Across the hall are these two cool guys.  I poke my head in the door and say, "Hey, I'm going to go down to the 7-11 to get some cigarettes and beer...you guys wanna go."  They were as innocent as me, and with a "deer in the headlights" look (kinda like Amber - SHOUT OUT - hey girl!!!) they say..."uh...yeah."  And off we went, the blind leading the blind, fake ID in hand...soon to conquer my goal...cigarettes and beer.  Uh...had never smoked, but it was cool...after all, it was the 80's.  This became a regular thing...and as I had early classes on Friday, everyone would give me their money and I would go buy the evening's alcohol...fake ID in hand.  ****NOTE**** there is NO way the liquor store people believed that the ID was real...it was awful, but they still sold it to me...enablers.  OK, so my hard core drinking had tapered off a bit, as I was no longer drinking beer...to heavy at the time for a novice...I was now drinking amaretto stone sours...come on people RED FLAG...how did they not know I was gay...how didn't my girlfriend know....poor KIM...ah, she did well...married to a Dr now.  Anyway, the drinks got frufru, but my tolerance for drinking grew!!!!  So let's jump forward a year or so....I go to a wedding...family wedding, none the less, and I was in it.  I decide to be a "hot shot" and show my Mom what her money is really going to...me learning how to drink.  Walk up to the bar...."I'll have a shot of Ouzo with a screwdriver chaser, please."  (remember, always say please, it's WJWD).  This drinking went on ALL night.  So in college I weighed, oh 125 sopping wet.  You can imagine where this is going.  DRUNK as a SKUNK, being vulgar, finding myself seated in a potted plant outside the reception hall at the end of the evening waiting for my cousin John to retrieve me...only one who could physically pick me up and put me in the car.  We get home...exit the car...vomit on his shoes.  Needless to say it is a night I would forget....oh, aside from the pictures that were taken of me, after I was stripped down to my black underwear and black socks, sleeping on a sleeper sofa, hugging a soup pot...real pretty....there go my chances for being President one day.  20 some years later what do I think.....I think....."I'll drink to that!!!!!!"