So have you ever gone to the same doctor for so long that you wonder how you ever started going to that doctor and do you even like that doctor. Had that epiphany several months ago....Soooooo, when I was at my dermatologists office (you know little Botox, little mole patrol, chemical peel....just the usual stuff) I asked her for a referral for a new Internal Medicine Doctor. I love my dermatologist, so pretty much anything she says I agree with. LOVE HER!!!! OK, so step back on second...the reason I was looking for a new Dr anyway...long story, but the Dr's nurse pissed me off and it was OVER! OK, flash forward. The first step with any new doc is they want you to have a physical. Seeing as though I haven't had one in, oh three four years, I decided that maybe it's a good thing. ONE KEY NOTE....my FIRST female doctor (dermatologist doesn't count because she's not seeing ALL the parts and touching stuff...down there). So I love this new doctor...she's cute, she's fit, she's a strawberry blonde, cute little Tori Burch sandals....love the WHOLE package. We start talking and she's asking all kinds of questions and with every one I start with "Don't freak on me, but......" so politely she says, "I'm not going to freak on you" ....and I have to tell you, I believed her! She's SO easy going and kinda reminds me of an attractive Kathy Griffin. So we go through it all and finally she says, "anything else?" and I say, "yeah, there is ooooonnnnneeee other thing" she gives me the "OK, give it to me" look and I say, "I think I have a brain tumor." She doesn't even flinch. So I start explaining...".I've had these weird headaches, can't really put my finger on a common thing that triggers them, but they're always in the same spot and feel like a burning, stinging sensation....sometimes it might be triggered from eating something spicy or smelling something weird, but then if I press really hard on my scalp in that spot, it kinda goes away for a bit.....AND according to WebMD, The American Cancer Website and The Mayo Clinic Website, I would appear to have the symptoms and fit the criteria. I've already think I've diagnosed the type and the probable treatment that I should have...I read about what to expect during treatment as well. I'm prepared. So what do you think?" She looks at me.....doesn't flinch (again) and with the most serious look says..."Yeah, it's definitely a tumor." I have a mini stoke, half of my body is paralyzed and then she says..."Of course it's not a tumor ...what is wrong with you". Put simply......I LOVE HER.
!!!!!CENSORED!!!!DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 OR A PRUDE!!!!!!!GRAPHIC DETAILS TO FOLLOW!!!!!!
So we go on with the physical and she's feeling around, listening to things and then she says, "Hand tight and chill for a second, I'll be right back" Of course, in my mind, she has found something terrible and is going to get another doctor for a second opinion. She comes back with the original nurse that checked my stats and says..."OK, so have you ever had a prostate exam?" ME: "Not from a doctor" HER: "Well since you're over 40 (rude) we need to do one. ME: "um...uuuuuu....is there....u...something that I should have done to prepare for this? (I mean gross, no one warned me, my coffee hadn't even kicked in yet!!!) HER: "No, not really, just be happy that you have a doctor with small hands" COME ON....YOU HAVE TO LOVE THIS WOMAN...she is hysterical. It went well, prostate is good, everything is good, we had a cigarette and I left.
Just remember....an apple a day!!!!
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