Yes Sir, That's my baby!!!!

Babies.  The cutest things in the world...or the ugliest?  Wow.  This is really a tough one.  Well if you ask the Mother...hands down...the cutest thing in the world.  If you ask the relatives....well, depends if they're "honest" and which baby it is.  If it's the first...hands down, the cutest thing in the world. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXMy point....If you're the Mother...always cute, no matter what.  If you're a relative, first one is ALWAYS cute...after that...we get honest.  So what about when you're not related?  Well a good friend of mine....let's protect her identity and make up a name...let's call her...ummmmm....Caroline Newman.  That's a good name.  OK, so...Caroline Newman and I are, I think we we're at the mall, and we run into an "American aka White" (if you don't know what that means by now...read my older blogs already!!!) friend at the mall with her NEW baby.  NOW, before I go on, I have to explain about this weird thing that Greek people do.  It seems as though when they see a baby they find the need to talk to this baby "in Greek" (the language that is) even if the baby is "White".   You know they say, "...oh what a cute little baby you are, blah, blah, blah...." but all in Greek.  OK...back to the story.  We run into this friend, new baby in the stroller....she pulls back the receiving blanket that's covering the baby's face....and "Caroline" bends down...looks at the baby and "in Greek" (with a high pitched baby voice) says, (pheonetically) "Ah, poli askime"...translates to something like...."Oh, what an ugly baby"...but keep in mind, she's smiling and singing it in Greek.  O M G.  I thought I was going to die...but what could I say, it was the truth!!!!  When you're not related, the baby may not be cute, but you HAVE to lie and say it is.  My final point would have to be about pets.  Since I do not have any HUMAN children, my four dogs (yes four and NO I am not a redneck...they all have names and wear cashmere....) are my children.  No questions, they are cute....ALL OF THEM!!!  Cutest of all?  Oliver...my little 8 lb Hairless Chinese Crested.  (He's the one that wears Ralph Lauren cashmere.  It gets cold in the winter when you have no hair.)  I'm kind of like a Mother with them, in that I will claw out your eyes if you say one thing bad about them.  I can remember one time, when Oliver was a little baby...only about 4 or 5 pounds and I walked into Starbuck's (the one in West Village (YUCK) not mine on Lemmon and Knight (Hey, shout out!) to get my coffee.  The manager sees me holding the baby and freaks out and tells me that he cannot be in there and that they could lose their license if the health department saw him in there!!!!  My response....first, I didn't move anywhere fast....kept a straight face and proceeded to tell him that unlike the rest of the patron's in his store, I KNOW where Oliver was last night and whom he was with, which isn't saying much for your customer's...most of whom probably haven't even been home yet from last night....and another thing...I don't see Oliver coughing and hacking like these little snot nosed, germ spreading children in here.  With that, I barked out my drink order, told him to deliver it to me on the patio and spun on my heels out the door.  Bottom line....NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY talks bad about MY baby!!!!  So like I said, or should I say, like Frank Sinatra sang in 1966 - "Yes Sir!  That's my baby - No Sir, I don't mean maybe - Yes Sir, that's MY baby now"