HAIR

According the musical from the same name..."HAIR" (circa 1968), hair was a great thing.  Just looking at a few of the lyrics, "...hair, hair, long beautiful hair..streaming, gleaming,....."  I mean...they really liked some hair!!!  So what happened?  In the matter of some 40 years opinions on hair have GREATLY changed.  I think that there is still a general appreciation for hair.. after all, my family seems to be "hair" blessed.  At 43 I still have a full head of hair, and my older brothers are not having any issues.  I'm sure that my sister's legs wish they weren't so blessed, but you know...you have to take the good with the bad.  The Hair Club for Men and the Bosley Clinic seem to be quite popular...if you take into consideration the amount of, pricey TV advertising that they do.  Now then again, there are always going to be the Sinead O'Connor's and the G.I. Jane's that do just the opposite and REMOVE the hair from their heads.  It would just seem that no one is every happy with what they've got....if their hair is falling out, they want it back and if they have a full head of hair, they shave it off.  Hmmmm?  So....maybe it's just hair that's not on the head that's the problem....at least now-a-days.  Remember, back in the "Hair the Musical" days...ALL body hair was beautiful.  If you've ever seen the play....when they all get naked....ugh....makes me have mini-vomit in my mouth...there's HAIR EVERYWHERE!!!!  So maybe that's the missing link....it's the hair that's not on your head that is no longer desirable.  Metrosexual men really started the fad.  When in the sixties, seventies or even eighties would men be shaving their arms, legs or chests to better show off their muscle definition?  Never.  If you ever look at old porn (not that I have...just repeating what I've heard) there was body hair EVERYWHERE!!!  Probably why there was so much throat clearing and coughing...if you know what I mean.  Body hair used to be a normal thing.  Depending on your ethnic background and family DNA you were either hairy or you were not.  Now I know I "outed" my personal achievement of youth in yesterday's blog, but I will have to admit....and I have to steal one of my favorite lines from Andie MacDowell when I say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful", but I don't really have a lot of body hair.  It's all stayed on my head.  Good thing, seeing as though lots of guys my age seem to have the majority of their hair on their backs....again....mini-vomit.  To me, if you go bald...be it a man or a woman, it's a bad sign.  To "me" it means that your hair is trying to get away from your face and relocating to another area...on men...their backs, ears, nose or b u t t o c k s.  EWWWW.  So again, hair anywhere but the head is NON DESIRABLE.  The metrosexuals shave it off themselves.....or do they?  I was having a manicure and pedicure at the place that I've gone to for 12 years, and these young, good looking, masculine guys come in and go to the back room.  I hate to say it, but I originally thought they were having a "massage" from one of the Asian concubines....and seeing what a short time they were in there, I assumed that they cut right to the "happy ending".  Finally, one day, I ask Kim (owner of the salon and my token Vietnamese friend - SHOUT OUT - Hey Kim!!!  I've gone as far as to have her make dinner for me at her house) what's going on in the back room with those guys?  Kim says to me, "Back wack."  ME:  "What?"  KIM: (louder and more pronounced) "BACK WACK." (as if I was a complete dumb ass and didn't hear her the first time)  I quickly do some Vietnamese translating in my head and realize that "Back Wack" is translated into English as "Back WaX".  Sometimes that accent gets in the way.  So once I realize what she said, I reiterate, "Back Wax?"  Kim: "Yes, that what I say, back wack."  ME: "That's all?"  Kim: (with a visual point to her brow) "Eye wack too."  Really?  These young, cute, straight, college guys are coming into "Kim Perfect Nail" to get their backs and brows waxed?  Go figure.  I guess it's not hard to believe, seeing as though some of my really good, female friends will get buck naked, up on all fours and let a complete stranger apply hot wax to their privates, then subject themselves to having it ripped off like a band-aid.  OUCH!!!  So hair that is not visible with clothes on is the MAIN culprit....body hair...under the shirt and under the "undies".  This really is not a revelation to me.  I want to share a story.  I used to take an annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas with a couple of girl friends....Ellena and....and....well I need to protect the other friend's identity (since she's kinda the target of the story)....let's call her ....Mary.  So Ellena, Mary and I are on our annual trip.  Now it's important to know that...uh...Mary is an only child.  Never had  brothers or sisters to play tricks on her and has the typical "only child" syndrome...not a good sharer and likes things the way that she likes things.  So we're on our trip, and of course, the three of us are sharing a room (we're Greeks, but there is a fine line between Greeks and Jews...Greeks like to stretch a penny...on some things).  So three adults, two beds and one bathroom.  ***NOTE***CENSOR***If you are a prude, or a respected member of the community, you may just want to stop reading now.  The story is funny, but I am going to share personal "stuff".  You know, I have received some flack aka negative feedback on talking about people and the "goings on" in their lives.  I realized that I really have no need to talk about other peoples stories, as I really have quite a few of my own and things about myself that are actually funny....sick at times (like the following story) but funny.****You've been warned....if you're still reading I don't want to hear about it later!!!!******  OK, so you know that this story is going to refer to hair...right?  Anyway, uh....Mary, being the only child that she is, goes into the bathroom and claims her counter real estate.  She lays out a washcloth and neatly places, on that washcloth, her deodorant, and TWO plastic soap containers....one marked "Face" and one marked "Body". (I wasn't aware of this, but it would appear that only children are a bit OCD).  Upon her departure from the bathroom and my entrance, I call Ellena in.  We giggle and laugh and Mary (from the other room) asks what's so funny.  We come out an share that "she's a freak" with all her little marked containers and washcloth to protect them from the "Four Seasons Hotel Counter Germs".  Hahahahahaha.....  SO, that evening, after a long day at the pool, we all come back to the room and decide to start the "bathroom sharing" process to get ready to go out for the evening.  Being the only child that she is, Mary has to go first.  We're fine with that, but I HAVE to take a quick pee before her bathroom time begins.  I go in....pee...come out.  She goes in.  After she goes in I start laughing and tell Ellena that she's in for a treat.  ELLENA:  "What is it?"  ME:  "Patience...you'll see"  So ...uh...Mary goes in and takes her shower.  She gets out, opens the lid to her deodorant....the screaming begins!!!  I left a little friend under the lid of the deodorant.  A little hair, plucked from a private region.  Oh yeah, later she would find them everywhere....face soap, eye shadow, lipstick.   I know, it's gross and it was cruel, but it was SO fun.  It really does prove the point that hair...other than on the head is just NOT APPRECIATED!  Lots of men and women run their fingers through each others hair.  So if hair is hair...what's the big deal?  I'm not sure.  On one final note...and a continuation from an earlier blog entitled, "WWJD"....let me tell you...he WOULD NOT take a shower and leave a little friend on the soap.  Hair....can't live with it.....can't live without it!!!