Skin Deep

So this year marked the 25th anniversary of my High School graduation....geesh...how time flies!!!  A 2011 reunion to mark the big day!  I have to say, I found out late (as I wasn't on FaceBook) but decided that I would GO!  Initially I was a bit apprehensive....after all...1.) I didn't really think that many of those people liked me in High School (being a teen aged boy not into sports and not uber macho is NOT a great mix in High School...kids are mean....a whole other blog!!!) and 2.)  I had not talked to or seen any of those people since High School!!!  How weird would it be?  Would I recognize any of them?  Well, as the weeks approached the reunion I got on FB and started looking people up.  I recognized the name...but not the face.  Weird.  Was my memory that bad OR had they changed that much?  Once I located my High School Annual (I was on the yearbook staff, btw!!!) and started looking people up....O M G...it was not my memory...THEY HAD CHANGED!!!!  (Dorothy...I am excluding you, as I would have recognized you anywhere.  Marina and Cyndi...same for you.  SHOUT OUT...LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)  OK, so what happened to these people?  I mean....we've all aged.....we're all the same age....how could they look so different?  First...I think it's geographic.  Northwest Indiana is a PIT (sorry for those of you that still live there!).  The climate is brutal and....well.....I mean.....what is there to do there, but hang out and smoke and drink?  In my mind....nothing.  If I lived there, that's what "I" would probably do.  BUT, since I live in the south... Dallas, TX to be specific....it's different.  I work out (it's hot here...you're in less clothes most of the time...bathing suits!!!), I eat right, I dye my hair and.......and I am a firm believer in BOTOX!!!  Why not?  Why does everyone have to know how old you are????  Chemical peels....LOVE THEM!!!  Why not sluff off a few decades with some acid?  So was it fair for me to just show up to my reunion looking all young?  No.....but was it fair to get picked on your whole school experience because you cared about clothes and the theatre and not Friday Night Football games and porking every girl in school?  Sometimes life is just not fair...Karma's a BITCH!!!!  So I wasn't totally honest....things could have been worse.  I could have gone all "Carrie" on them.  So I cheated (it was like Mrs. Wooldridges geometry class all over again!)  I will have to say, though, I have yet to bring myself to going under the knife....which brings me to my next HUGE point.  So, luckily I was born with pretty good bone structure, frame and most of all NOSE (lot's of Greeks are not so lucky in this department....no names mentioned....this time).  I kinda "like" what I was dealt.  But, when you look around THESE days....there seem to be LOTS of good noses, lips, boobs, butts, etc....you get the idea.  That wasn't the case when I was younger.  Again, it might be geographic, but even up north...the general population has seemed to get....somewhat prettier.  THIS is where it gets scary.  So "I" do not plan to have children.  I will be selfish with my DNA and take it to the grave with me!!!  But for all of the ...pardon the expression.....  "breeders" out there (straight people reproducing) this sudden "prettier" population SHOULD be alarming.  I'm gonna let the cat out of the bag....all those ugly or just not necessarily pretty people out there that we remember as kids ARE STILL OUT THERE!!!  A lot of them have just gone under the knife.  The ones that you would least expect.  Not sure if you get my point yet. Let me paint you a picture.  I'm gonna try to give you the "Cliff Notes" (didn't you love those in High School!!!  Read "The Grapes of Wrath"...yeah right, I'll read the "Cliff Notes"!) version.  So it's a Friday night and in different parts of the city a boy and girl are getting ready to go out on the town.  Once out....their eyes meet from across the bar....each thinking that the other is beautiful.  HER:  Tall, blonde, perfect pug nose, full lips, narrow hips and a great rack.  HIM:  Tall, slim, full head of hair, chiseled face, broad shoulders, round ass and pecks of steel.  FLASH FORWARD....they fall in love and get married and she gets pregnant.  Pops the baby out and.....what?  What is this alien creature?  The ugliest baby you have ever seen in your life!!!  What each of them failed to tell each other....their beauty was only skin deep.  They never shared their "secrets" with each other.  HER (procedures endured): Processed hair, rhinoplasty, silicone lip injections, liposuction, and breast augmentation.  HIM: (procedures endured): Lap band surgery, hair club for men, lipo-sculpture, pec implants and a brazilian butt lift.  They met the new and improved "each other".  Unfortunately DNA is DNA...you can't alter it...so for all you breeder's out there...married already or looking for Mr. or Miss "right" you better remember to ask the question and find out if that "look" is real or not.  For us "Non- Breeders" unless we choose to disclose...our DNA is going to the grave with us and only old polaroids hold the proof of what once was or was not.  Always remember....a pretty face, nice body, full head of dark brown hair....it's ALL only skin deep and ANYONE can have it....if they want it bad enough!!!!