Choices. Life is just full of them. Unfortunately, we don't always have a lot of say in quite a few of them. Think about it...you're born (to parents, into a family, to a specific geography), soon after you are Christened, given vaccinations and enrolled in school. So far...no choices. During adolescence you start to get a few choices...maybe what to wear, maybe what topping to put on your hot dog...keeping in mind that these decisions are still heavily influenced. After all, you can only choose from the clothes in your closet and chances are that if your Mom doesn't like mustard or relish...that won't be a choice. So what choices do we REALLY have and when do we start making them....AND....have we already been so influenced that our choices are REALLY predetermined? Let's go back to the hot dog...or any food for that matter. Usually a parent will give a child food that THEY (the parent) like, the way that THEY (again the parent) like it prepared. So if they like a hot dog with ketchup only...guess how the "little snot nose" is going to get...you got it, a hot dog with ketchup. I recently heard of a Mother that was a vegetarian and was FORCING her daughter to be one, as well. Forcing her, even though on a recent doctor's visit the doctor said that she lacked protein in her diet and was starting to develop health issues. C R A A A Z Y. OK, so that one is extreme, but our parents have a HUGE influence on our choices. They decide what activities and extra curricular events we will participate in and form a great deal of our beliefs. Now, I loved my Mother and do love my Father, but neither of them really did me any good when it came to extra curricular events. As a boy, it is my opinion, that a Father should teach his son how to play sports..well at least how to throw and catch a ball....and if he cannot or will not...find SOMEONE to take on that basic Fatherly task. Well, as that never happened, it was quite a mess when I was signed up for the Little League. I remember wanting to play, but not having any of the necessary tools to play (mitt, basic knowledge, etc...) I can remember Tina's Dad, George Bogordos, taking me to buy a mitt and showing me how to oil it (you rub the mitt with vaseline, put a ball in the mitt and rubber band it to help it stretch). Check. Bad thing was that no one taught me how to USE the mitt. When I got out onto the field....cute little white outfit....uh....uniform...it was a mess.....a HOT MESS. To top off my "less than stellar" performance, no one came to watch me. : ( My Dad couldn't come to the games because he was too busy and my Mom couldn't come to the games because it was too hot out (didn't like to sweat) and she didn't like how competitive the parents were (that part I will agree with...it's kinda gross how into it some of the parents get!). OK, next....swimming. As a child I went to Vancouver, BC (where my Mom was born and raised) for summer vacation to visit Auntie MaryJane, Uncle Jimmy, Kathy (as she was known then...now she is Kathryn), Joanne (Bobo) and John (let's just leave it at that, although he was quite the P.I.T.A. then). In their backyard (still there) was a pool. As the youngest, I was thrown into the pool....oh about 100,000 times. Probably a good thing, as I learned how to swim...and learned well (remember John was a P.I.T.A.)! So when then time came, I decided I would join the swim team. Finally, a sport, and a sport that I was good at! I loved it! Got to wear a itty bitty swim suit and didn't have to have a huge physical physique....it was a perfect match! Well...until NO ONE came to watch me. I mean...come on...what was going on? I was GOOD, and STILL no one would come to see me.....you see, my Mom was one of those women that had their hair "done" once a week and the humidity in the Natatorium would make her hair fall....ugh....fail. Once again a sport abandoned. OK, I have gotten way off track today and actually embarked on a therapy session....thank you for listening! I feel better knowing that it wasn't me!!! So like I started out saying...choices....life is full of them. We are very limited as children, unless we have a strong personality. I guess when it came to food, I had a strong personality. I can remember when I was little, my Mom loved soft boiled eggs....she also loved salt (probably why she had high cholesterol and high blood pressure). Anyway, I can remember her making breakfast and trying to feed me those nasty, slimy chicken fetuses with salt on them. To me, it was like snot with sand on it...wasn't going to happen. I can recall her saying, "This is breakfast, either eat it or nothing." I chose nothing and began a life journey (until late) of NEVER eating breakfast. Even now, it's only on a weekend or special occasion that I'll eat it...soft boiled chicken fetus is STILL NOT on the menu. Lot's of other foods come to mind...ones that I chose not to eat and went to bed without dinner for not eating.....still don't eat them today (Liver and onions...vomit and Veal...double vomit and animal torture). SO do we really have choices and WHEN do we make them. It would seem that on some childhood choices or opposition to the choice being "made for you" is based on a child's strong will (my food choices) and on some choices - choosing a choice that is not made for you (sports) it's a lack of direction. OK, get ready to follow closely, as this is going to be confusing. Unless your childhood choice maker wants to make a particular choice for you...you will probably never be exposed to it. I WANTED sports, but neither parent was interested...sooooo, when I tried to "go for it" if failed...it wasn't what THEY wanted. We both wanted food, but strong will can tend to tweak that one. I really think that we have few, if any choices in life. We may THINK we have choices....but do we really? Our choices are already determined by our environment, our associations and or place in life. Lot's of great things happen to people that are just in the right place at the right time. I hate to say that I believe in predestination.....but....
So remember what they say...."You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose." This would prove that you REALLY don't have choices. Now, remember that "strong willed" thing I talked about earlier. So you CAN pick your friends, you CAN pick your nose, and if you're me (strong willed and your friend is Tina) you CAN pick your friend's nose....she might not like it....but, who asked if she liked it! This time I get to choose and I choose to PICK IT!
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